Love And Other Drugs
by smileyfaceanna
Summary: Clare is required to volunteer at a rehab facility for community service. The last thing she expects is to meet a certain green eyed boy…and actually fall for him.
1. Chapter 1

**Clare is required to volunteer at a rehab facility for community service. The last thing she expects is to meet a certain green eyed boy…and actually fall for him.**

**Authors Note- Just sayin' before I start writing, I don't really know where I'm going with this. But if I get enough reviews, I will have the motivation to continue. Besides, what's the point in writing a story with no readers! Anyways, the title has NOTHING to do with the movie that's coming out (btw, I really want to see it) I guess I just couldn't think of anything else and the title just fits. **

**On another note, I'm rating this story M because Eli is going to do some heavy drugs in this story. Here's the first chapter, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- You already know.**

**

* * *

**I tapped my bright, red polished nails on the counter in the main lobby impatiently. I've been waiting here for five minutes, and I still haven't been assisted on where to go, or what to do. I looked around the room, giving me something to do while I waited. The room had a gloomy vibe to it. I looked down at the frayed carpet I was standing on. It was a brown, red color and it clashed perfectly with the foamy orange walls. The dark brown chairs were the finishing touch, making the room look revolting. I looked down at my watch for the third time, and let out a long sigh. I was about to walk out until I heard a frail voice come from behind me.

"Excuse me, can I help you with anything, miss?" I turned around, and saw a lady with long brown hair and a round face sitting down in the black leather chair behind the counter.

"Yes. My principal, Mr. Simpson-" Before I could finish, she clapped her hands together and a smile widened on her face.

"Yes! You must be Clare Edwards. He phoned me the other day to tell me you would be coming for some community service hours. It's so nice of you to do this, really. The teenagers will need someone their age to interact with." She looked at me through her thick rimmed glasses and I gave her a small smile.

"I'll be working with the teenagers?" I questioned, quirking my eyebrows up in surprise. I didn't think I would actually be interacting with them. I thought I would just be working in the kitchen, serving the food or sweeping the floors every once in a while. But never did I think that I would be talking and making conversation's with them.

She nodded her head, while typing furiously on her computer. "Its not that hard. Most of them have been clean for over a month, so they're used to being drug free. But on the other hand…" Her voice trailed off in thought, and she printed out a name tag, handing it to me. "There are some people who get irritated very easily. So, don't be surprised if you experience a few breakdowns while you're here."

She got up out of her seat, and gave me directions on where to go. Then she left me all by myself. I wasn't going to lie, I was a little worried on what was in store for me. I felt like a lost puppy in a wild jungle, trying to fend for myself. Helping people is something I always wanted to do, but this was a little _extreme_. I wanted to just turn around and walk out of the doors, but I needed the community service hours in order to graduate.

I walked myself to the elevator, taking each step with caution. Once I reached my floor, I stepped out and took in the new scene. It didn't look much different from the lobby, except this time the walls were white, and the chairs were a forest green. But, the carpet still had the same, ugly color to it. To my right, they're were a set of tables and a small T.V. I saw a brunette, with long locks covering her back, sitting at one of the tables. I walked over to her, and sat down at the chair across from her.

"Hey. I'm Clare" I spoke quietly. I didn't know how she would react to me. The words that the lady at the front desk said, stuck to me like glue. What if she freaked out? Or got irritated with me? I was surprised when a smile formed at the corner of her lips.

"Hey. I'm Fiona." She looked at me with her blue eyes, pleading that I still stick around here and talk to her. She had small circles around her eyes, and her hair was a mess. But, she was still beautiful. How could someone like her end up in here? My head and eyes were filled with curiosity. I was examining her for quite some time, and she finally spoke up, breaking the silence. "What are you in here for?"

Her question took me by surprise. She didn't really think I was in here for _drugs_, did she? Did I really look like someone who was addicted to drugs? As much as I wanted to be offended by the question, I couldn't be a prude. Not here. I gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm here volunteering. I needed some community service hours. My principal sent me here." I looked down at my fingers and started to play with them. A habit I had when I got nervous.

She nodded her head, giving me permission to continue. "I'll be interacting with the teenagers on this floor. I'll be here for three hours the next two weeks. Anything you need, just come to me." I finished explaining with a smile on my face.

She smacked her lips together "So, you're here to be my friend?" Her voice had a hint of desperation in it, and I couldn't help but get the vibe that she never had a friend that she could come and talk to.

"You know, I never thought of it like that. But sure, I can be your friend!"

Her smile was even bigger than before. She reached her hand out, and grabbed mine, giving it a light squeeze. I already had a good feeling about this.

"If you don't mind me asking…" I hung my thought out in the air, not actually wanting to finish what I was saying.

"Why am I here?" She finished my question, and I couldn't decipher the tone in her voice. "Well," She let out a long sigh, like she was ready to tell me a story "I had a boyfriend, who used to abuse me. After I broke up with him, my life became nothing but hell. I started drinking, _a lot" _She choked a little on her words, not sure if she wanted to continue or not. I gave her a reassuring smile and she returned it, then she continued. "Soon, I became addicted. I couldn't stop, I would drink all the time. My mom was worried so, she sent me here. In a way, I'm glad it happened. It really has helped me, and I've made a lot of good friends."

"That's really, really good Fiona." I let go of her hand and stood up. "Do you mind showing me around this place?"

She got up with me, and grabbed my hand, leading me into a separate room from the one we were just previously in. "This is the arts and crafts room. People come here usually to express themselves. You know, draw what you feel."

I looked inside and what I saw almost took my breath away. It was a dark haired boy, and he was drawing intently on the piece of paper in front of him. He looked worse than Fiona. The circles around his eyes were bigger, and darker. His lips were chapped and his dry, crackled hair was sticking up in every direction. Fiona must of saw me checking him out, because she nudged my arm a little.

"That's Eli. He doesn't talk much, and when he does, he's usually telling someone off."

He looked up in our direction, almost as if he heard what Fiona had said. His eyes flashed open at her, his green depths full of anger and pain. It made me terrified, but I didn't want to look away. He then looked over at me and his expression changed to hopeful, and we smiled at each other for a quick moment, then his face clouded back over.

She put an arm on my shoulder, but I was still looking at him. "Don't even bother with him, he's nothing but trouble."

Her voice had disgust in it. But it didn't make me want to pull away from him. If anything, it made me want to get to know him.

And that's exactly what I was going to do.

* * *

**SOOooo000o what did you guys think? This was a filler chapter. And you wont really see much of Fiona, maybe every once in a while. I just didn't want Clare's first interaction to be with Eli. And I thought it was necessary to put Fiona in, because she has problems. Anyways, read and review my lovely's!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am beyond excited with all the reviews I got. I would of never thought I would of gotten over 30 reviews just for one chapter! That's fucking amazing ya'll (: I tried to post this chapter as quickly as possible, but I didn't want it to seem rushed so I hope you guys are all satisfied. **

**Soon Enough…your review was amazing. You honestly gave me so many ideas to go with this story. And since I said in my last authors note that I don't really know where I'm going with this, it was nice to have some fresh ideas put into my head. Just on your request, I'm keeping the Fiona and Clare friendship. Thanks for your lovely review, really, it meant a lot.**

**Oh and I forgot to mention. Eli is going to be 18 in this story, which means he would have been a senior this year if he wasn't in rehab. And Clare is obviously a Junior in this.**

**Disclaimer- I don't even come close to owning Degrassi.**

* * *

From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew getting to know Eli was going to be immensely frustrating. Looking at him broke my heart. His eyes were deep and hallow, and it was almost has if they had no life to them at all. He looked _lifeless._ His body was there but not his mind. I would try and bring him up as a topic to talk about with Fiona but she was always seemed so enigmatic about it. I chalked it up as her just being generous for his sake and not mine.

I felt a wave of relief come over me as I checked my watch. Only 10 minutes left before the school transportation van was coming to pick me up. Since the rehab facility isn't in the best neighborhood and is too cold for me to ride my bike, Simpson arranged for a van to come pick me up when my three hours were over.

After I said my goodbyes to Fiona, I stepped onto the elevator and waited patiently for it to reach the main lobby. Once I stepped out, I amicably walked to the front desk to check out and I saw Eli's thin, broken figure leaning against the front counter. He had an irritated look on his face and I felt my body tense up as I made my made way closer to them.

"Why can't I just go out for 5 minutes to smoke this cig?" His voice was acidic, and I could basically see the lady rolling her eyes at him.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, you already know patients aren't allowed to be outside without any supervision. And none of the security guards are around." She explained. Annoyance was coursing through her body, but her expression changed when she spotted me coming up. "Oh, wonderful. Clare is about to leave, she can just watch you as she waits for her ride. Do you mind, Clare?"

I felt myself blush as Eli looked my way. I worked to modulate the volume of my voice so I didn't sound too eager. "Sure" I insisted with a shrug.

I trudged to the front door and I felt his presence behind me the whole way. I spotted a bench a few feet away and I immediately felt the coldness enter my body as I sat down. Of course, he was really there. He stood against the wall not far from me, and propped one foot up against it. His face was hard and his posture was tense. I could feel him glaring at me wordlessly, but I didn't want to look over.

"You want to hit this?" He asked, as he lit it up and took a long drag from it.

I shifted in my spot uncomfortably as he continued to blow out smoke. "N-no. I don't smoke." I tried to make my voice firm, but it only came out shaky.

"Yeah, you don't look like someone who would." He almost laughed at his statement, and he looked at me with dark amusement.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He pushed himself off the wall and made his way toward the bench. He sat down right next to me and immediately stretched his arm out across the top of it. I instinctively scooted forward so I wasn't much in his embrace as I would have been. I looked up at his face, at his eyes. They were a lot greener than I thought. The rings under them were a deep purple and I couldn't help but notice the pain in them.

He hit his cig once again, and let the smoke out slowly. "You're too cute for that."

I felt my throat become so swollen that I had to swallow down twice to clear it. Before I could respond, a security guard walked out and looked right at Eli.

"Eli, you're 5 minutes is up. You need to come in." His voice was firm and authoritive.

Eli shook his head and continued to stay where he was. "My cigarette isn't gone yet, I'm not going anywhere."

The security guard approached Eli, standing directly in front of him. I scooted away from him and it wasn't until then that I noticed our proximity. The strong figure placed a hand on Eli's arm, showing him that he was serious.

"Don't fucking touch me." He immediately stood up, coming face to face with the guard.

I tried not to be critical but, truthfully, I was terrified at the moment. Eli had such venom in his voice, that I couldn't help but cringe at the way he raised his voice at the security guard.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be, Eli." His voice was more relaxed than before.

Eli's breath quickened and I saw his hands form into a fist at his sides. He looked over at me and a growl came from his chest but his expression didn't change. He threw his cigarette down irritably and he walked passed me, as I received a nudge from him. The security guard looked at me sympathetically before walking in.

Luckily, the van pulled up right after. The drive home was what I expected, silent and long. The stillness was peaceful, a drastic change from the previous situation I was just in. I couldn't figure out what had caused him to freak out like he did. I guess with drawling can cause erratic behavior, but the look in his eyes we're telling me something _different _from that. I felt like he was hiding a lot more than addiction.

The van pulled up in front of my house and I thanked the driver, telling him I would see him tomorrow. Once I was inside, the warmth immediately took effect of my body and I easily relaxed. I took off my coat, and hung it on the rack. I yelled for my parents but there was no answer so I figured they went out without me- _again_.

I went up to my room and turned on my laptop. If I was going to be with these teenagers for 15 hours a week, I needed to know what they were going through for me to fully understand and help. So, I researched all night. Finding out anything I could to make this journey a little more easily for me. Simpson always told me therapy was my forté which is why he signed me up for this, but this was…_different_. This was something so much more complex and extreme. He was expecting me to do something I couldn't possibly wrap my mind around. It seemed as if he wanted me to treat their addiction.

It wasn't going to manageable but anything to get me to graduate, right?

* * *

**Alright, so there was chapter two. I understand it was very short, but I did what I could with it. I wanted to put in another part, but then it would of been too long and I hate extremely long chapters. So, ya'll should please still review and tell me how you liked it, or didn't like it. I always love constructive criticism, since I'm no perfect writer. And sorry about the long authors note at the top, I usually wont make them long unless its necessary.**


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY GUISE, what's up! Sorry for the ridiculously long wait but I had to sort some stuff out with my partner. Wait…I have a partner? Why, yes I do! Her penname is **_**Soon Enough**_**, but I like to call her Michelle. She's my idea pump who keeps me afloat. Thanks to her, I now know where my story is going. She's so incredible so you all have her to thank for such an amazing story that's about to unfold.**

**This chapter is longer than the last one, which was unexceptionally short, which I once again apologize about. So, I hope its worth it!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Degrassi, sadly. But it is what it is.**

**

* * *

**Fiona and I had grown accustomed to each other faster than I expected. She was the closest one to me out of all the people I met here. We kept each other stable, and a backbone is definitely what we both need in this place. Fiona is all kinds of crazy and it's a comforting feeling to know that I can be here for her. I could tell my company was needed.

We were sitting at one of the tables in the living area, and I was smiling at her genuinely. She had her locks tied up in a pony tail and her gray sweatshirt clashed perfectly with her bright, blue eyes. She was showing me pictures of her family and giving me a background story of each one. I picked up one of the pictures to get a better look and another had fallen out from underneath it. Out of curiosity, I had picked up that one instead. It was Fiona and another boy, with shaggy brown hair and dark lashes, his arm was hooked firmly around her and he was kissing her cheek. I instantly knew who it was and I set it back down, under all the other pictures. I looked up at her with a sympathetic smile.

She dug through the pile furiously, looking for the picture. Once she had found it, she gave it a despairing look and ripped it into pieces. Hoarse, cracking sobs broke from her; another ounce of grief and she would of begun tearing her ugly, matching clothes off.

"Fiona.." I had tried to keep my voice calm but I didn't know how in a situation like this. I tried to let my face fall guilty, but it felt as though it was being dragged downward. This exposure grew us violently together and I felt immensely close to her now.

When she became quieter, not less despairing but too exhausted to keep on, I touched her shoulder gently. "I'm sorry I picked up the picture, I didn't know.." My voice trailed off, I was unsure of what else to say. Fiona didn't look capable of such hates, which made my nerves calm down a little bit. She had rapid plumes of breath puffing from her throat and coming out her chapped lips. Her fragile, fair skin made the irregular blotches on her face look a lot more noticeable.

"How the fuck did that get in there?" She muttered under her breath.

I cringed at her profanity but squeezed her shoulder slightly. She looked over at me, her eyes we're filled with tears and I could tell anything could cause another breakdown. I didn't want to look at her, so I let my eyes roam the room as she continued to wipe her tears away. I saw Eli sitting in the corner table looking right at us through his dark lashes. I looked at him briefly and a smirk spread across his face. I turned away instantly, and noticed Fiona starting to pick up all the pictures.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom and get cleaned up?" I suggested. I took the photos from her shaky hand and put them back into the envelop. She nodded slowly and got up from her chair and I followed her. Anything to get out of this room.

When we reached the bathroom, she opened the door. She held it open, motioning me to come in with her but I silently declined, shaking my head. She raised her eyebrows, giving me a confused look.

"I don't like public restrooms. I try to avoid them as much as possible." I explained with a laugh. If you think about it, it does sound ridiculous. She laughed with me and it was a comforting sound coming from her.

"And I'm the crazy one." I heard her say under her breath as she walked into the bathroom.

I leaned up against the men's restroom door, making myself comfortable because I didn't know how long Fiona was going to be in there. I looked around the hallway I was in. The walls and floors we're concrete and there were long windows with wires on them. It was a depressing room and the thought of being stuck in here made my stomach feel uneasy. I still had mixed feelings about this place. The people made it better, weather they were crack heads or not.

I felt fear seize my stomach like a cramp as I saw Eli making his way down the hallway. He was mumbling to himself and he stopped in his tracks right in front of me. He looked up at me, his face dull and expressionless. I could see the side of his lip curling up like he was about to snarl at me. I slouched back into my posture and took a step back. This made him instantly take a step forward and he was right in my face.

"Move." He said in a slow, deep voice that made me jump a little.

I objected, shifting uncomfortably out of his way, now standing only a few inches from the girls restroom. I silently begged for Fiona to hurry the hell up.

I watched as he tried to open the door but instead found it to be locked. This wasn't obvious to Eli, as he clearly still played with the handle, thinking it was only broken. When he finally realized what was going on, he began to fume audibly, throwing out a few cuss words that made by standers turn their heads.

"Fuck!" His voice grew louder and he punched the bathroom door. He didn't seem phased by it, which made a coy smile creep up onto my lips. He pivoted his body so that it was facing directly towards me and I could tell hatred was coursing through his body as it reached up to his face, giving me the most malice look.

He put his lips into a line, licking his upper one slowly before he spoke, "What the hell are you smiling at?"

I looked up at him from under my lashes and my smile quickly vanished. His green eyes turned black in an instant and they were burning from his grimacing face. I noticed a cigarette tucked behind his ear, which is probably why he was going to the bathroom in the first place.

After a moment I answered in a quiet voice, "Nothing, I-"

"Save it for someone who gives a shit." His voice still had venom in it and he widened his mouth irritably like he was about to say something else, but didn't. Instead he just walked by me, but not without shoulder checking me.

I turned around to look at him and saw him run his fingers through his hair as he turned the corner. I wish I knew what this kids deal was. Just a couple days ago he called me cute and that was the last time I had talked to him. I didn't know what had caused his random out bursts but it was ridiculous. He's making it difficult for me to want to understand him. His attitude is sending me mixed emotions. I don't know weather I want to be drawn to him or drawn back. Even if I couldn't ever possibly understand him, what's a inch closer going to hurt?

Fiona opened the door to the bathroom and I didn't realize I was in such a deep thought that she made my nerves jump. "Jesus Fiona, give me a heart attack." I gasped as I put my hand over my chest.

"I'm sorry, Clare." She had a smile plastered on her face and she looked a lot better. The unhealthy color from her face vanished and her hair was neatly done. "I heard someone yelling outside. What was all the commotion about?"

I quirked my eyebrows up, looking at her with question, then remembered the previous events. "Oh. It was just Eli. He threw a fit just because someone was in the bathroom."

"Eli?" She said his name which a chuckle. "Not surprised."

She started walking down the hallway and I mystified beside her, "What are you talking about?"

"He can't control his temper. He's not _all_ the way there. I would advise you to stay away. There's something wrong with him, Clare." She explained and I made no pretense of not understanding her, even if I didn't.

"Maybe he just needs someone…" I honestly don't know why I was trying to defend him. I had no reason to.

She looked over at me and threw her head back into laughter. "All he needs is a line of cocaine to snort to make him feel better. "

My mouth dropped instantly. Eli was addicted to _cocaine?_

_

* * *

_**Yeah, I thought it was good timing to stop there. But anyways, you guys are SO amazing. I've been getting such good feedback from this story, its incredible. So, don't forget to review my lovelys.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This was proof read by my partner **_**Soon Enough **_**(Michelle ;]). She edited a couple of things for me so some credit goes to her, she's fucking awesome! Hope you enjoy y'all. **

**Disclaimer- I. Do. Not. Own. Degrassi. **

* * *

We stopped in our tracks in front of the art room. I looked in and saw that Eli was slouched back into his chair staring at the wall in front of him. His leg was jerking up and down and his hands were shaking. He looked irritable and uncomfortable, and would change positions every so often. One minute he would be scratching his arm until a rash formed, then the next he would be running his fingers through his hair. I wanted to feel bad for him, but he made it so hard to.

"Clare…are you okay?" Fiona asked. She rubbed her hand gently over my shoulders, trying to comfort me.

"Yeah. I'm still a little shocked I guess."

"Well, you had to know he was in here for _something_!" She said, stressing the last word.

While I stood speechless for a second or two, Fiona took the opportunity to move from the art room. She motioned for me to follow her and we started walking down the hallway and into a different room.

"Sorry Eli being a crack head wasn't the first thing that popped into my head." It came out harsher than I expected and I immediately threw her an apologetic look. She didn't seem to notice, though, because her eyes were on something else. Whatever it was, it was really making her nervous. She looked down quickly and began fidgeting with her fingers.

Well, this was odd. What had Fiona all nervous and fidgety? I looked over to see what had sent Fiona into that state and found Eli standing right next to me. He must have gotten up and followed us when we were walking here. He had been behind us the whole time. Eli was irked, to put it mildly. His eyes, alight with malice, were directed at me.

"Eli, not now." Fiona said firmly. He kept quiet, but his eyes still glinted malevolently through his curtain of greasy black hair. He gave us a tight smile before he turned away and set off down the hall. Now the rehab center had an angry Eli roaming around. Great.

After regaining composure and my breath, I looked up at Fiona through my bangs and saw that she was giving me a worried look. "You need to watch what you say in here, Clare. You never know who's listening." She told me half-heartedly.

I wish she would've told me _before_ Eli overheard me calling him a crack head. I shrugged it off, nodding in understanding. Fiona was just looking out for me. "Come on, let's go to my room." She grabbed my hand and led me down the hall and into her room.

"God, I'm so stupid." I said once we reached her room. It was almost as boring and lifeless as the building itself. It was a tiny place that barely gave any room to breath. It consisted of a twin size bed and a dresser right next to it with a lamp placed on top.

Fiona laughed lightly and took a seat in the chair that was in one of the corners and picked up a magazine. "No you're not. You just have a poor choice of words... and timing."

"Thanks for putting it nicely, Fi. The guy still hates me, though." I sighed and plopped down on her hard mattress.

Fiona rolled her eyes dramatically. "Don't take it personally. He's like that to everyone, whether you know him or not." She looked over at me and noticed the doubt in my eyes. She set down her magazine and walked over to me. "Listen, its nothing to get upset over. And besides, he must have some interest in you. Why else is he always looking at you?"

My face went from white to scarlet in a blaze of chagrin. I chalked the embarrassment up to Fiona's sudden bluntness and tried to alleviate the settling silence by trying find something else to talk about. I looked around the room and my eyes landed on a collage of pictures plastered on the wall. It was the only thing that gave the room any sense of life or color. I walked over to them to get a better look. One of the pictures had Fiona placed in the middle of two adult figures. She had her arms draped around both of their shoulders. They looked familiar and I think she showed me them earlier that day so I assumed they were her parents. I looked over at her and her eyes were glued to a magazine so she had no idea I was looking through her pictures.

"So, how often do your parents visit?"

Her head snapped up from her magazine and a smile formed at the corner of her mouth. "Once a month. It's not a lot, but I take what I can get. Some of the residents don't get visitors at all; they don't even get phone calls, Clare. I feel kind of selfish, but I just miss them so much." She choked on her last part of the sentence and I gave her a sad smile.

"I bet they miss you too, Fiona. I can tell they just want what's best for you."

"I wish I would've known that from the beginning. I remember when told me they were sending me here, I was so livid I couldn't even see straight. But, maybe that was just because I was drunk off my ass when they told me." She laughed a little, and then continued, "I wouldn't talk to them for days, wouldn't even let them visit me for the first two months. It was hell, but I adjusted."

I nodded to show her I was listening but I was still looking at the picture on the wall. "That's you with them, right? Your mom is really beautiful, Fiona. You look just like her."

Her smile fell and her face became pale way too fast. I saw tears forming at the corner of her eyes and I could tell she was about to lose it. I walked over to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. I knew she needed this, but I had to leave her alone and get out of the room. Things were getting too heavy for her; we could talk about her family later, when she was ready.

"I'm going to go get a soda. Do you want one?" I asked, letting go of her and wiping away the few tears that began to fall from her crystal blue eyes.

She shook her head slowly and wiped away the rest of the tears that were starting to stain her cheek. I hugged her again and gave her hand a light squeeze before leaving the room.

"Vending machines are over here, Edwards." The voice was nonchalant, but it was so unexpected that it still startled me.

"H-how do you know my name?" I asked firmly.

"I have my ways…" Eli's voice trailed off and I looked at him skeptically. He looked over at me and smirked. "Don't worry, I saw the volunteer sheet."

After his admission, I managed to relax and slow my pace. "I'm not thirsty anymore, I think I'm just going to go back to Fi-" Before I could finish, he grabbed me by the elbow and turned my body so I was facing him. I was so close to him, I could feel my knees buckle at the proximity, but I could tell by the way he grabbed me that he wasn't very strong.

"How about we take a walk, Clare." His voice was raspy-callous almost.

He led me down the hallway and to the stairwell. We started going down the flights of stairs and I was wondering where the hell he was taking me and why we didn't take the elevator. The 'walk' was silent until we reached the lobby where the front desk was and the lady, who I later found out was Mrs. Shafer, was sitting, typing on her keyboard.

I looked over at Eli and saw that he was holding a cigarette in his hand. Then it hit me, Eli just wanted to use me as his smoke-break chaperon.

"Are you serious?" I muttered to myself, but by the way he looked over at me, I knew he heard.

"All you have to do is stand and watch me. We don't even have to talk."

I looked at him stolidly but I could feel the blood boil underneath my skin. "I can't believe you even have the nerve to ask me such a thing. Why the hell would I sit and watch you when you've been nothing but hostile towards me?" I went to walk away but he grabbed a hold of my arm again. "Don't touch me." I quickly jerked my arm away from his grasp.

Eli threw his hands up in defeat. "Alright, whatever, I'm sorry. Just please come out there with me, its just five minutes…"

"No." I said, clearly irritated.

"Clare…please?" His voice was soft now.

I know I shouldn't have given in to him this quickly but his voice was pleading and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, even if he _was_ using me. I gave him a slight nod and the smirk returned on his face.

"After you, Edwards."

I rolled my eyes at him and made my way to the front desk. "Mrs. Shafer?" I asked after I had made my way to the desk.

"What is it, Clare?" She asked, not looking up from her computer.

"I was just letting you know that Eli is going out for a smoke break and he asked me to watch him. We'll be back in five minutes." I explained.

She stopped what she was doing and looked up at me, smiling broadly. "I'll give you ten minutes."

"Really?" Eli blurted and we both looked at him.

"You're lucky I like Clare. But, we lock the doors after six, so I need to give you a key." She dug through the drawer and handed me a silver key. "No more than ten minutes, understood?" She directed her question at me, but she was looking right at Eli. Eli just rolled his eyes and walked toward the front doors.

"Don't worry, I'll have him back in ten." The woman nodded and I took off after Eli.

I sat down on the bench and the cold struck my nerves, making my body tense up immediately. I heard the flick of the lighter and looked in the opposite direction of the sound, avoiding his face completely. I looked over at the sun, which was just about to set. It was so early, but that's the thing about the cold weather-the sun always sets early. The colors and the intensity of the light was enough to calm me. I brought my head down, concentrating on the cold pavement below me.

"So, what exactly are you doing here?" His voice brought me out of my thoughts and I looked at him coldly.

"I thought you said we didn't have to talk?" I snapped.

"Yeah but a little conversation never hurt." He took a long puff from his cigarette and began to blow out smoke rings slowly.

"I was forced to come here. I had no choice," I said flatly.

He put his hand over his chest, feigning hurt. "You mean…you don't actually want to be in a wonderful place like this?"

"Funny…"

He leaned forward, his face earnest now, the bitter sarcasm fading. "Do you like it here?"

"Some things I like. Other things I dread." I said quietly.

His smirk reappeared as he took another drag from his cigarette. He didn't say anything in return; he just looked at me as he blew his second-hand smoke right into my face. I gave him a sour look and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. He chuckled a little and flicked the butt onto the ground. "Don't worry, I'm finished. But can I tell you something?"

"Sure." I said, not really wanting to hear what he had to say.

"You look like you would be a damn good smoker." His tone was serious and his face matched it as well. I wanted to laugh, a quiet, mirthless laugh of course, since it really wasn't that funny.

"Yeah?" I was rather unenthusiastic about the whole idea of smoking.

"Yeah. I should give you lessons sometime. I mean, if you're up for it." That smirk was back on his face and once again, I wasn't sure if he was serious or just messing around.

I got up from the bench, ignoring his statement. "Come on, its time to go in."

He gestured for me to go in before him and I obliged, walking in. The warmth of the building felt great and the numbness of my body was beginning to wear off. I checked back in at the front desk and caught up with Eli again. We walked in silence the whole way back up to the floor, but the trip was a lot quicker this time, since we took the elevator. We kept our distance most of the way, except when we bumped shoulders when we both tried to leave the elevator at the same time. I started to head down the hallway, but then I felt Eli's soft hands grip around my arm.

"You really need to stop doing that," I said, smiling slightly at his constant need to grab my arm.

He looked down at his feet, then back up to me. "You never gave me an answer."

I knew what he was talking about, but I played dumb, "You never asked me a question."

Eli sighed heavily. I was starting to get the feeling that he didn't have much patience.

"Okay, okay." I put my hands up in defeat while he glanced back down at me.

"So?"

"Probably not," I retorted.

"Well, that's better than a no."

I felt my cheeks go red at his sudden interest, but I blamed it on the cold. I looked at him and he gave me that smirk again, something I've gotten used to in the past half hour that I've been with him. I gave him an awkward wave and headed down the hallway to Fiona's room, where she was passed out, lying across her bed the wrong way.

* * *

This chapter is the longest, I think. So, I hope it lived up to your expectations. Reviews are greatly appreciated…and somewhat necessary, haha. (:


	5. Chapter 5

**A big part of this chapter was written by my partner, _Soon Enough_ because I had some writers block, so thank god she came through for me! She also proof read it so just as much credit goes to her as it does to me. She's really helped me a lot through this story and I know I say this a lot, but she's super amazing!**

**Anyways, here's chapter five for you all! I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer-Come on now, do I really need to say it? I don't own Degrassi!**

* * *

I walked out of the transportation bus, waving good-bye to the driver and sighed involuntarily, knowing it was going to be a long day for me. But it'd be worth it. It was Saturday, the director specifically requested that I come today and the plan he set up required me to be here all day. As I walked to the front of the building, the early winds made the branches on the trees sway lightly and caused the bells hanging on the doors to jingle. I tried getting in, but to my displeasured surprise, the doors were locked, so I pressed the button on the side of the door that buzzed the front office. No one came.

I stood there, starting to feel myself become impatient. As my body started to numb, I saw a patient walk by. I knocked on the glass door, knowing that they would hear me. When the figure turned around and I groaned out loud when I saw that it was Eli. Why did he always seem to have such perfect timing?

He opened the door, a smug look on his face.

"Thanks," I muttered, making my way to the front desk. Mrs. Shafer was hard at work on her computer, so I just signed myself in. Eli was peering over my shoulder, and when I turned around he was only inches away from my face. I looked down nervously, moving out of his way.

"I never took you to be a morning person, Eli."

He chuckled and looked down at me. "Trust me, Edwards. I wouldn't be up this early if I didn't have to be."

"What's your reason?" I asked curiously, waiting to hear his ridiculous response."

"Two-hour classes. Every Saturday."

"Oh..." I let my voice trail off and it immediately became awkward.

"Well…aren't you going to ask what the classes are for?" Eli said, breaking the silence.

I stared at him, un-blinking, not sure whether I should really ask. He was looking at me directly in the eyes, making my curiosity get the best of me. "Okay…what are the classes for?"

His face dropped and his gaze met mine. "Damn, Clare. You don't see me asking questions about your personal life."

I heaved a sigh and gritted my teeth together. I knew exactly what he was trying to do- He was trying to get under my skin, and even worse, it was working. That would explain why he's always showing up, always conveniently placed in my way.

"I'm not really in the mood right now," I said flatly."

"How can I put you in the mood then, Edwards?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively at me. I could feel a blush rising to my cheeks. I tried to fight down it, but was failing miserably. He always said the weirdest things.

"Do you know where Fiona is?" I said, completely ignoring his previous statement.

He rolled his eyes, "Probably off drinking herself to death." I looked over at him sharply, glaring at him in disgust.

"Don't worry, I would never be that lucky," He said sarcastically.

"Eli!" I was upset, but it came out louder and harsher than I expected and I instantly regretted it. Like most of the other patients, he had a hair-trigger temper, and I didn't know how he was going to react. To my surprise he threw his hands up in defeat and a grin widened over his sharp teeth.

"She's in classes until noon."

"Great," I mumbled, looking down at my feet. I took a deep breath and I played with the purity ring placed on my finger to distract myself from looking at him.

"What's got you all nervous?" He asked, a perplexed expression on his face.

I looked over at him through the corner of my eye. "I'm not nervous at all. I'm just trying to prolong the precious seconds I have before you ask me to supervise one of your smoke breaks."

He smiled broadly as he brought out the cigarette that was tucked behind his ear, "You know me too well."

I rolled my eyes and made my way to the door. On Saturdays, the patients are allowed to go outside for any amount of time as long as they're under supervision, but when it starts getting dark, everyone has to come back inside. Patients can't leave the rehab grounds, of course, but the grounds were still pretty. They had a couple fields separated by the walkways and the set-up circled the entire building.

"I'm not staying out there for more than fifteen minutes, okay? It's cold." I hugged myself and pulled my jacket together.

Eli scoffed and pulled on his black T-shirt, but my stance didn't budge. It was too damn cold out there. "Don't pfffft me. You're going to be colder than I am out there, anyway."

He scoffed again, walking over to the coat closet and grabbing a gray jacket, "Whatever."

"That isn't even yours, is it?"

He smirked. "Nah, but he won't miss it."

My jaw dropped a little, but he ignored me, so after a while, we proceeded out the door and down the pathway. He lit up his cigarette almost right away, puffing on it numerous times before blowing out his smoke. I looked over at him and up until now, I didn't realize how bad he still looked. Maybe it was because the lighting was different, but it was still heartbreaking all the same. His black hair was matted together and loose strands were sticking up. His eyes were sunken into his face and his pale complexion made the veins in his arms look an unhealthy purple color.

Suddenly his arms were enveloped in the gray sleeves of the jacket, and he was talking to me. "Do you want to hit this or something?" The crackle of his voice broke me out of my thoughts. He must have noticed me staring.

I wet my lips and looked down at the offending object. "No. I already told you I don't-" He held the cigarette out to me cutting me off.

"I know, I know. But you should still try it. Just for me?" His voice turned to hopeful at the last part.

"It's great to know you're trying to get me killed." I said, being half truthful.

Eli shrugged and pulled the cigarette back, puffing on it thoughtfully. He didn't say anything after that. We kept quiet the rest of the way, except the occasional breath he would blow out to release the smoke that filled his lungs. After the fifteen minutes, we made our way back to the door, finding that it was unlocked this time.

I checked my phone, "Hmmm, Fiona's still in class…" It wasn't even half past eleven.

Eli rolled his eyes at me, "Then how 'bout we go waste some time?" He didn't wait for an answer and started down the hall. I knew he wouldn't put the jacket back.

"Hold up, I just got to sign back in." Well this sucked. The woman at the front desk wasn't there, and the sign in sheet had disappeared along with her. I could hear the tapping of Eli's foot on the floor as I began searching for the sheet.

"Let's go, Edwards." The boy had the patience of a fruit fly.

"One sec." I heard Eli sigh dramatically, but he ceased his impatient fidgeting.

"Finally, some dam-ha! Found it! Waiting two minutes wasn't that bad, was it, Eli?" I looked up from the now signed sheet, "Eli?" Eli was gone. How did I not see this coming?

Steaming, I slowly made my way down the hallway. "Eli where the hell are you?"

I was getting tired of this. Some girls might be okay being dragged around a… a freaking mental ward, but not this one! I checked the time-it was twenty minutes to twelve; I could wait out the remainder of Fiona's last class. I turned around to make my way back to the classrooms only to be spun back around and dragged into a dimly lit room.

"Where-" I didn't care what my potential rapist had to say, I just started screaming, but almost immediately, a hand clamped forcefully over my mouth, muffling my cries.

"Shhhhh, you have to be quiet-" Quiet? Why on earth would I be quiet with some freaking crazy hooligan trying to take advantage of me? I bit his hand. "-if we're going to-OW! Son of a bitch! What was that- Hey, hey! Stop hitting me! Dammit! Stop hitting me, Clare!" How did this freak know my name?

"Stop, for christ's sake! What's wrong with you?" His arms finally came up to weakly defend himself against my slaps.

"What's wrong with me?" I shouted as my hand met his cheek with a resounding 'whap'.

I went in for another after his hands shot up to his face… his face… Oh God…I just beat Eli up.

My back hit the wall hard. "OW!" I shouted indignantly at him.

"What… the fuck… is wrong with you!" He panted at me. I wiggled my wrists under his grip, but he held firm.

"I thought you trying to…" I mumbled.

"What?"

"I thought you were going to rape me." I said in a small voice, hanging my head. The jerk threw his head back and laughed out-loud, he probably would've slapped his knees if he wasn't pressing my wrists against the wall.

"It's not funny, Eli, knock it off," I huffed angrily. I was going to slap the heck out of him again if he didn't stop.

It took another minute for Eli to compose himself, "That-that's just stupid Clare."

I bristled at that, though he just smiled in return, relinquishing his hold on me and moved to flip the switch. All the lights turned on, and I could see that it wasn't a room, but rather another short hallway instead.

He turned back to me smirking, "So, I take it you're not one for role-play rape fantasies, huh?" I choked. Why would he say such a thing?

After my shock wore off, I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "You're unbelievable!" I turned and started to walk away, when he stopped me.

"No, wait. I'll stop, okay Clare?" He managed to turn me around.

We started back down the hallway again, and for a short while there was a blessed sort of silence. Of course Eli would be the one to break it.

"You know, I'm just thinking about the people. I mean, those poor fetishists! Without your staged refusals, what will they do now?"

I turned back around to leave again, but Eli stopped me, his hand on my arm, "I'm done now, honest." I don't know why, but I let him drag me the rest of the way there.

He led me to the recreational room, which was a fairly large room. I had passed by it a few times when I had to run some errands for Mrs. Shafer. It was nicely decorated; you could tell they put a lot of effort into making this a refreshing room for all the patients to enjoy. There was a pool table to the left, which had a fluorescent light hanging from the ceiling right above it. To the right was a couch with a T.V across from it, and a video game system was hooked up to it. A few tables and chairs were scattered across the room that had checker boards placed on top of them.

"What are we doing here?" I questioned, looking over at him dubiously.

"There's someone I want you to meet." His eyes scanned the room briefly, until he started to walk over to one of the tables, where a brown haired boy was sitting.

"Where the hell have you been man? I've been looking all over for you since class got out," His voice sounded almost too mature, like he was forcing it a bit. He wasn't built like most of the boys here. It looked as if he had a petite figure, but it wasn't very easy to tell because of the loose sweater he wore.

"Got distracted," said Eli, sitting down. He looked up at me and gave me a smirk, causing my face to turn scarlet. "Clare, this is Adam. The only guy that keeps me sane in this place."

"You're sane? Hmmm, haven't noticed." Adam said sarcastically, with a crooked grin on his face. He took the words right out of my mouth. This caused him to receive a gentle punch to the arm from Eli, who was smirking back in his seat.

I gave him a small smile, and sat down next to him. I directed my attention towards Adam, so I could turn my flushed face away from Eli. "It's nice to meet you Adam."

"Good to know you too. So… how did you get Eli to even give you the time of day?" He asked with a chuckle.

I shrugged, not really knowing the answer myself. I wondered what he did think of me aside from just a smoke break chaperon.

"What are you even in here for?" He changed the subject suddenly and his voice was peaky, shrill almost.

"Really, Adam?" Eli interrupted firmly, brightly, "You really think a girl like _Clare_ would be in here with us?"

"You did say I looked like a smoker," I objected, looking over at him through my lashes.

"Its different."

I averted my gaze back to Adam, "I volunteer here. For community service."

He nodded his head, his face deadpanned, "Well I guess that's…um…thoughtful of you?"

"Eh, I guess. I was sort of forced into the whole arrangement." I looked at the entrance to the room; people were just beginning to trickle in. Class must have just ended. "

Don't let her fool you, she loves it here. Told me herself." I glanced over at Eli. He was smirking at me in that weird way of his again.

"Yeah, and Eli's the only reason I like it here so much."

"Really? Eli's the only reason I stick around here too," kidded Adam, "he's such a doll!" We both looked back at Eli and burst into laughter, nearly rolling out of our seats. That Adam was pretty funny. We were still laughing, but we both looked back up at the sound of Eli clearing his throat impatiently.

"Oh, Eli, don't get your panties in a twist, we were just messing around." Uh oh. He should not have said that! I looked back over at Eli, sure that he would be pissed. I was shocked to see him laughing.

"Adam, I should say the same to you."

"Huh?" Adam looked lost. Eli just smirked knowingly, "Don't get your panties in a twist, but uh… what's-her-name just came in."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Eli waved his hand as if waving off his forgetfulness, "She's been looking this way since she got here, and although I am unbelievably sexy…"He stopped to wink at me and I laughed. "I have a feeling she's looking at you."

Adam scrambled to his feet and looked like he was going to sprint over to the girl.

"Adam?"

"What!"

"Be cool."

I saw Adam check himself, and then proceed toward Sam.

Eli turned back to me, chuckling, "The kid's a riot," I said, fighting off my own laugh-attack."

"Yeah, he's a great guy." Eli said looking back to see Adam's progress. He was chatting animatedly with Sam, both making grand gestures. They kind of looked like they were deaf and dumb.

Eli sighed, turning to look at me. "What do you want to do?"

Fiona was out of class by now, but I didn't want to just blow Eli off. "Ummm… checkers?" I offered weakly. It really didn't matter.

"Eh, no. That game's a bit childish, don't you think?"

I threw my arms up, ignoring the steady flush spreading across my face, "It was just an idea- "

"How 'bout twenty questions?" He interrupted.

I brought my arms back down lifting an eyebrow, "Twenty questions?"

"Yeah, you know, you take turns asking people personal questions-" The way he put it somehow made it seem like a very bad idea.

"I know what twenty questions is!" I interjected.

"Oh… so how 'bout it?" He asked grinning.

"Eh, no." I mimicked. "Letting you ask me personal questions? Seems like a bad idea."

"I'll be your best friend forever," Eli pushed. He batted his eyelashes for good measure.

"I don't really want that burden." He immediately frowned, making me laugh again.

"Okay, we'll do it, just nothing too personal." He started asking the first question, but I stopped him, "-And I get the first question."

Eli raised his eyebrows, but he settled back into the chair, waiting for me to start.

"Ummm… favorite color?" Eli suddenly barked out a laugh.

"That's disappointing, Clare. So uncreative." He continued before I had time to be indignant, "Black, my favorite color is black." He leaned toward me when he answered.

I was just about to comment on how hypocritical he was when he fired off a question, "The school you go to is forcing you to do this whole volunteering thing so… what school do you go to?" He was genuinely curious, and it wasn't exactly a personal question, so I told him.

"I go to Degrassi," I said simply. Eli's face lit up.

"Holy shit! I used to go there too, you know, before I came here." His smile disappeared and he looked down.

"Do you like it here?" It was probably the wrong question to ask, but I had discovered that I was generally tactless around Eli.

"No. I just want to live my life again, be out of rehab, you know?"

"Mhmm…" I waited for him to ask his question but he just continued to watch me expectantly."

"Are you going to ask your question Eli?"

"I already did." I went over the conversation to find that he had already asked another question. Eli scratched his arm and the movement brought me back to the present, where the boy was watching me too closely. I didn't know why he was so intent on my question, but I could feel that the words that I would use had some underlying weight.

Then, I knew he wanted me to ask him why he was here. Suddenly, I felt like I was in a figurative game of chess and wished I had opted for the literal game instead. I just wanted to leave at this point. If I asked, Eli was going to have another one of his infamous episodes and I didn't want to stick around for it, so I just asked the first thing that came to mind. "Ummm… uh, why don't you like it here?"

"Don't you think you're pussy-footing around the questions you really want to ask, Edwards?"

I couldn't tell him I already knew about his cocaine addiction, and I couldn't ask him like I didn't already know about it. But at the same time, I couldn't just continue dodging his questions either. And, on top of everything, Eli was getting angrier by the second. Sometimes I forgot how easily riled some people are.

I searched for something to say, but I had nothing. I opened and closed my mouth wordlessly until it pieced a response together, "You-You have such umm… a short fuse, and uh, I didn't want to upset you. I-" Again, it was obviously the wrong thing to say.

"Upset me? No, never. In fact, it doesn't UPSET me at all when you act like I'm a fucking basket case!" He wasn't yelling, but he was clearly boiling-over and it was starting to scare me. I didn't know what he was going to do, so I just agreed with him; that was what he wanted, right?

"Fine, Eli whatever you say. I'm done fighting with you, so I'm just going to leave-" Eli's hand shot out and grabbed my arm, yanking me down into my chair. Wrong again, I guess.

He leaned forward, hissing. "What I want to know is why you're even here."

I started to reply that it was only volunteer service when he cut in, "Yeah-yeah, I know, 'volunteer service'. That's bullshit. Schools don't send students to rehab centers just for some damn volunteer work."

I sprung to my feet again, preparing to make a hasty exit, but he jumped up as well, wrapping his long fingers around my upper arm.

"Let. Go." I bared my teeth angrily at him. The things I chose not to disclose to him were mine, alone, to know. I winced as his long fingers squeezed my arm tightly.

"They wouldn't send you here if you weren't messed up too, but you're not a resident and schools don't have the power to send you here, anyway." He was talking fast, speaking more to himself than he was to me as he worked through the little anomaly that my situation presented.

I clenched my eyes shut when I saw the apprehension on his face, "Unless you're screwed up too… you are, aren't you? And nobody knows-nobody wants to know, because you're their Perfect. Little. Saint Clare." His usual steady voice held a sort of malicious glee.

"So what? Do you hide it behind your books? Your prayer group? And you're hiding this behind some kind of merit scholarship, right? While your shrink tells you to spend time with some real losers to put your life into perspective, your parents pay the board big money to pass it off as volunteer service too-" He was still wearing that cruel, knowing smile when I cut off his feverish whispering.

"I'm not like you." I wanted to tell him I knew about his 'little' problem too. I wanted throw my anger at him and make him accept the truths and lies I screamed at him and be just as nasty as he was, but I couldn't.

"I know." It was an angry sort of understanding, and I wasn't grateful for it. I tested his grasp on my arm again, but his grip only tightened. Now, the weak boy was abnormally strong; at the moment that was more frustrating than amusingly ironic.

"So, Edwards, what is wrong with you?"

"Hell yes! Praise the freaking Lord!" Just like that, the tension evaporated and both of our heads snapped around to locate the origin of the sound. It turned out to be Fiona, who was currently bounding toward us.

"Fiona!" I shrieked with relief.

"Hey Clare! I heard you were here!" Her excitement faltered as soon as she made it over to us. She indicated to the space between us, "Uh, what's going on?" I didn't answer her, and Eli didn't either. After eyeing Eli's death grip on my arm, her head shot up to glare at Eli. They seemed to be engaged in some wordless battle.

Finally, Fiona spoke, "What the hell do you think you're doing, Eli?"

"Spending time with Clare." He replied nonchalantly.

He was still gripping my arm, but at this point I felt like I wasn't really a part of whatever was going on between the two, so I continued to watch the strange fight wordlessly. "And Clare's idea of quality time is you grabbing her and throwing her around? Somehow, I don't think so, Eli."

He merely flipped his hair and smirked before replying cheekily, "Why don't you mind your own business?"

"Clare _is_ my business. Especially when she's anywhere near you."

"Why are you so worried about me? You're the fucking crazy one!" He let go of my arm and stuffed his hands in the pockets of the jacket as he stormed off.

Fiona rolled her eyes and turned to face me, smiling brightly. "So what brings you in on a Saturday?"

I looked at her questioningly for a moment, waiting for an answer to whatever that had been about. She made it apparent that I would get no such thing, so I cleared my throat and began telling her what I came here to say, "You've been here for a while right?" Fiona nodded her head, her gaze steady upon my own. "Well, the staff seems to think you've been doing really well these past few weeks, so they wanted to take you and two other patients on a excursion to the outside world."

Her face lit up and she clapped her hands together, "You get to come with me, right?"

"Well, I don't really know any of the details. They just sent me to tell you. Now, we have to go to the director's office to get more information." I explained.

She nodded her head, and we both slipped out of the room, making our way to the office. It was a quick, silent trip, since the room was only down the hallway. When we arrived at the room, there were two patients and two more volunteers sitting slouched in their chairs. I gave the director an apologetic smile when I noticed he was a bit agitated. It must've been because of our tardiness, but he began to explain to us what was going to happen on the excursion anyway. It was going to be a four-hour trip- going there, being there, and coming back; but we were going to go into town, so the travel time wouldn't cost us too much. Ten guards would be accompanying us, as well as the director.

"It will be a great experience for you guys," He assured eagerly, looking directly at the three patients. "A lot of patients will relapse within the first week of being introduced back into the outside world and it's mostly because of the stress that comes with that reintroduction. So, we're doing this to make sure your chances of relapsing will decrease." He released his breath with sort of a sigh of relief.

Fiona turned to me, her face expressionless. "We don't even get a normal trip? Is ten guards really necessary?"

"It's once step closer to recovery." I said, giving her a hopeful smile.

* * *

**Well, there it is. (: Review and tell me how you liked it…or didn't like it! It took me forever to write this, which is why it took so long. But, you guys have all been so awesome. I love every one of you, for real. Next chapter is coming soon so don't worry! And it's going to be freakin' intense…I promise!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yeah, I know this is super fucking delayed. But I simply decided to go on a break. I didn't have any inspiration or motivation, so there really is no excuse. I just want you to all know that I'm so sorry, and I will try not to let you down again. Thanks for everyone who has stuck with me through this story. Its just the best feeling when you know you have dedicated readers.**

**I don't know if its as intense as I thought it was going to be, but I did what I could with it. Not as long as the last chapter, but still pretty important. This wasn't proof read by anyone, all the work was done by me myself and I. Only because I wanted to get it up as soon as I finished it. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Degrassi.**

**

* * *

**"So, how do you like it Fiona?" I asked, watching her take in the scene surrounding her.

We had been in town for a few hours. We all had grabbed something to eat, and took a tour. They had the patients order their own food, and anything the director thought the patients would benefit from, he would make them do. He had chosen Fiona to go up and pay the bill, which she did exceptionally well. The excursion was a little bumpy in the beginning, since the patients didn't really know what was in store for them, and we got a few glances from pedestrians here and there. I mean hell, we were surrounded by a number of security guards.

After the lunch, we got to split up and take a patient and just take a walk around the town. Three guards would be accompanying each group, but they would make sure to keep their distance. Fiona and I had been walking quite a long time, that I hadn't realized we reached the rough part of the town. I looked down at the sidewalk, which was covered with dry leaves, along with broken bottles and cigarettes.

"The shopping here could never compare to New York." Fiona blurted, her eyes never leaving the buildings.

"You've been to New York before?' I questioned, genuinely interested.

Her eyes snapped over to look at me. On the surface her sudden smile was amused, it was almost a smirk. "Are you kidding, Clare? I lived there almost my whole life."

"What brought you to Toronto?"

This is what I love about Fiona. There was always something new about her that I would learn. We always have something to talk about. She's the only one who has opened up to me here, and she's not afraid. I think that's why she's coping so well with rehab. I think she now realizes that getting her feelings out is a more relaxing coping mechanism, rather than her drinking away the pain.

"My dad's location for his job kept changing. Luckily, I was sent to a local private school, while my brother went to a public one. That's where I met…him. Then everything went down from there." She frowned as she said the last part, and I knew that she was talking about her abusive boyfriend.

The guards made us turn back around, and we headed to a little park a few blocks away from the buses. We still had an hour before it was time to report to the director, so we took a seat on a picnic table, half covered by a tree. It didn't make a difference in light though, because all the leaves on the trees were already dried up and in the process of falling off. The wind was chilly, but sun that beamed down on us gave us enough warmth.

"You have a brother?" I said to distract her from becoming upset.

Her face lit up. "Yeah! He's my twin-" She stopped in mid thought, then looked over at me, "What school did you say you go to?"

"Degrassi…" I eyed her skeptically, wondering what she was thinking.

"You might know him then! His name is Declan Coyne-"

The gasp that escaped my mouth unconsciously interrupted Fiona, and I looked down at my fingers so she couldn't see my now flushed face.

"I'm guessing you know him?" She said with a smirk.

"I had the biggest crush on him forever." I admitted with a blush painted on my face. Her eyes widened and she gave me a confusing look, and I knew I had some explaining to do. "Long story short; I went through an awkward stage during freshman year and I ended up biting his neck." I looked up shyly at Fiona, only to find her mouth gaped opened, then busted out into laughter.

"Hey! It's not funny, okay? It was two years ago. Thank god it wasn't awkward after that. He still made conversation with me, but then again our jobs required it." I explained to her. I never expected _suave_ Declan Coyne to have a alcoholic sister. Not that I'm judging right now or anything.

"Jobs?" Fiona asked, still trying to keep her laughing under control.

"We were in theatre together. He was the director and I was the prop master, and he had to go over the props with me."

Fiona nodded her head in understanding and moved her body to the side, so she was facing me directly. "So what kind of sister did Declan make me out to be?"

My face fell instantly and a lump had formed in my throat. I had to swallow twice to force it to go away. How could I tell Fiona that her brother has never mentioned her, ever? Her eyes lit up and her smile never went away when she talked about him. I have too much of a heart to tell her the truth. I didn't want to be the reason her day was ruined. So, I had no choice but to lie.

"He…uh- made you sound like the best sister in the world," I said lamely.

She smiled in satisfaction and we continued to talk about small things, though the thought of lying to Fiona was in the back of my mind the whole time. We made our way back to the director when the guards told us our time was up, and once everyone was together, we headed toward the bus. Towards the end of the bus ride, the director stood up and coughed, trying to get everyone's attention.

"There's something I want to give you all before you get off the bus. We have decided to supply you guys with journals. This means you can give a detailed account of your experience of being reintroduced back into the real world." He dug into a small plastic bag, and handed out the three journals to the patients.

"We should start on it when we get back." Fiona looked over at me and I nodded at her in approval.

After the bus dropped us off, the whole group made their way back in, and everyone was required to sign back in. We walked into the sitting area, and Fiona immediately opened up her journal. She tapped her pen on her chin, as if she were in deep thought.

"I have no idea what to write."

I thought about it myself, trying my best to feed her ideas. "Well, how did it make you feel? Were you overwhelmed, nervous, anxious, relieved? Just write about the situation you were put in and how you think you handled it."

"Its just hard to put it into words. At least its hard to put it in a good amount of words."

"Maybe you can concentrate better in your room," I suggested.

She nodded and got up from her chair, and I quickly followed. When we made our way onto the second floor, I felt alarmed as I saw Eli making his way over to us. He looked over at me, his gaze never leaving mine and I shifted uncomfortably, waiting for him to say something.

"Clare, can we talk?" Eli's voice was surprisingly soft, but I could see Fiona rolling her eyes at him. She opened her mouth to say something, but I gave her a knowing look.

"Its okay Fiona, I wont let him be a jerk." I looked over at Eli even though I was talking to Fiona and he gave me a slight smirk as he gestured with his head for me to come follow him.

I looked over at Fiona and she gave me a small smile and waved her hand off at me. I ran to catch up with Eli, and he stopped in the middle of the hall way. He backed up into the wall and brought his leg up, shifting his weight onto it. I felt my stomach grow with fear and I suddenly felt uneasy standing here alone with him. I hadn't talk to him since his disruption in the recreation room. I didn't know if he was going to pick up where he left off, but when he sighed I could tell he was going to _try_ and be sincere about whatever he had to say. He didn't say anything though, instead he just stood motionless, looking directly at me.

I swallowed my nervousness and tried to make my voice soothing. "So, what's up?"

"Listen Clare, I just wanted-"

"Did you guys hear that?"

Both of our heads turned over at Fiona who was running towards us, fear settled on her face.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Eli snapped.

As if on cue, there was a scream that seemed faint, but when he heard it again it became louder.

"It sounds like its coming from the other side of the hall." I stated obviously, and all three of us darted down the hall, making our way towards the sound.

"Somebody help! P-please…somebody go get help!" A voice pleaded and we all stopped in front of room 208, where the door was cracked open.

"You two stay here," Eli put his hand out in front of Fiona and I, guarding us from coming in.

"No." I stated firmly, and before I could even let Eli respond, I pushed my way through him, opening the door.

My mouth dropped as I took in the horrifying scene. There was a nurse who sat pale and breathless in the corner, concerned for the two boys that were perched up on her lap. One looked sickly, almost deathlike, as if he was struggling to breath. There were deep circles under his eyes, dark circles that jumped out because his face was so haggard. His skin seemed tight-like his cheekbones could break through it. I couldn't look at the other boy because without warning Eli had grabbed my waist from behind, and picked me up, taking me out of the room. I was confused, why didn't he want me to see this? I was more stable than him, I could handle this situation better than he could. My feet were still free, but I knew that if I kicked, I would lose balance and he would have a tighter hold on me. I began to use my weight, swinging my whole body from side to side. I eventually swung hard enough to lose his grip on me, and I spun away.

Before I could enter the room, he grabbed me again by the wrist and started to push me against the wall. "Clare, you can't go in there." He panted breathlessly. He made no sound, and he shifted his grip, holding me now with just one arm.

"Eli, they need our help! Those two boys- they looked so pale…like dolls almost."

Eli's eyes tightened and pain pulled his features together. "Fiona is going to get help, but right now there's nothing we can do."

"Let me go," I said, gritting my teeth together.

I felt his grip tighten on my wrist, and it was becoming extremely uncomfortable. "Eli, you're hurting me."

He looked me straight in the eyes, then reluctantly let go. We stared at each other for a moment before we heard voices from the other end of the hallway. That's when I saw Fiona, along with other workers and nurses following her with medical supplies.

"What the fuck took you guys so long?" Eli demanded, but he was ignored as the nurses shoved his way past him, giving there full attention to the helpless boys sitting on the ground, in the corner.

"You could of went in there and helped the nurse out, you know," Fiona snapped.

"Sorry, but I had to pry your little friend out of the room so she couldn't see what was going on."

Before anyone could respond, a nurse walked out of the room, motioning for Eli to come in the room. I looked over at Fiona, who was just as confused as I was. He gave me a short glance before following the nurse back in the room. We were both too shocked to say anything, so we just kept quiet until Eli came out. When he did, he had a look of distraught on his face. He was just as pale as the two boys I saw in the room.

"Come on, lets get out of here." He looked at both of us and we both followed him, wondering what had just happened.

We made our way to the first floor and I faced him, and I immediately saw the tension rise in his body. It was wire tight in his jaw and as heartrending as the pain in his eyes. I watched as his body slid down the wall and he brought his knees up to his chest. He propped his elbows up on his knees and he buried his head.

I walked toward him, sitting down next to him Indian style. I touched his arm, and he didn't respond. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and tried to pry his arm off his face, but I could have been yanking on a stone sculpture for all the good it did to me.

"Eli."

He didn't move, I could tell he was too weak.

"Eli…what just happened? Who was-"

"Clare, you know what the fuck happened. I know you saw everything, don't play dumb." He moved his arm; his green eyes watching me warily. He had his hands closed into fists.

I almost wanted to laugh, but I was too horrified. "No Eli, it was kind of hard to see what was going on since you practically threw me out of the room."

"Maybe if you would of just backed away like I said."

"Yeah, because its so easy to just walk away from something like that!" I tried hard to keep my voice down, but I was on the verge of a breakdown. Fiona's face went slack as all the color drained from her face, leaving her mouth slightly open. Her body was unmoving, like it had completely shut down.

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" I asked, my voice almost breaking.

Eli swallowed hard, his gaze switching between me and Fiona. "Fitz is dead, and…Adam is unstable. They both tried committing suicide together, Clare."

My head dropped, defeated, the bizarre tears staining my cheeks too quickly. I didn't really know why I was crying, and apparently neither did Eli, because he was staring at me with confused, anguished eyes.

"W-what?" Fiona's voice came out raspy, barely audible.

"Fitz took some rope from the janitors closet…they both tried hanging themselves." Eli explained.

The shock wore off achingly slow, leaving nothing in its absence; emptiness. My mind was blank. There was nothing I could say to Eli at the moment. I couldn't understand his misery, and what he was going through. It was weird how I just met Adam today, and he could possibly be gone soon. My heart broke for Eli. He told me that he was the only person who made him sane, so now what was Eli going to have if Adam died?

Fiona had tears forming in her eyes, and she walked away silently, leaving me and Eli in the hallway by ourselves, yet again. I looked down at my wrist and two large, purplish bruises were beginning to blossom across the pale, creamy skin of my wrist. Eli noticed me looking down and grabbed my wrist very gingerly, examining it.

"Did I do this?"

I nodded my head and pulled my hand free to poke at the discoloration on my wrist, watching it fade where I touched it and then reappear. It throbbed a little.

"I'm…so sorry, Clare. I didn't realize I was holding onto you that hard." He made a low, revolting sound in the back of his throat.

I sat for one, long moment in total astonishment, trying to come to terms with the fact that Eli is actually apologizing to me.

"I'm sorry about Adam." I said sincerely. He muttered something incoherent and I got up to walk away.

"Clare, wait."

"What?"

"When will I see you next?"

"Monday. That is, if you want to see me."

"I do."

* * *

**Aw, Eli's coming around (: HAHA, but don't worry, it wont last for very long. Next chapter should be posted soon. Don't worry, I won't make you guys wait another two months.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't really have a partner at the moment, because she's never really on anymore, which is totally fine with me, I still love her for everything she has done for me. That's a main reason why I haven't been updating as frequently. But, I can't thank you guys enough. Seriously, you are all too good to me, and I don't deserve half the reviews I get. I love every single one of you, which is why I'm still continuing. **

**Disclaimer-Oh, the things I would do if I owned Degrassi…**

**

* * *

**It was funny how abruptly and entirely necessary this had became for me. At first, I didn't care about this place or the people in it, or what they even did. But the more I spent my time here, the more attached I became. Fiona and I are insanely close to each other now and its weird how our relationship is built. She's dependent on me but I can't exactly be the same way with her. She doesn't know about me but she doesn't need to know. I didn't come here to drop all my problems on her, she had enough to deal with. I had to focus on her, not myself.

I couldn't explain Eli to you even if I wanted to. But I can't stop myself from thinking about him sometimes. He had deep, seductive green eyes that would almost radiate against the fluorescent lights. His infuriating, irresistible smirk would always get my heart racing. I don't care how bad he was broken, maybe he just needs someone like Fiona does. Or maybe I just have a bad imagination and that's why I'm unable to imagine liking him.

I haven't seen or talked to him since the incident with Adam, which was only yesterday but I still wonder how he is holding up. If he loses Adam, I don't know what is going to happen. He told me Adam is all he has, and what good would it do if he lost him…to _suicide_. The bruises he left me were much better now-yellowing in some places and disappearing all together in others. The pain was barely there.

The sudden stop in front of the facility shook me out of my thoughts, and I stepped off, sliding the card they had given me just a few days ago. I guess it was something new they wanted to try out instead of using keys. I walked to the front desk and Mrs. Shaffer flashed me a smile when she saw me approaching.

"Good afternoon, Miss Edwards, How was your weekend?" She chirped, her voice sounding like golden chimes.

"Just wonderful," I replied, giving her a smile.

"I have a task for you today. The walls on the third floor near the classrooms need some scrubbing, _someone _thought it would be funny to pee on them."

I grimaced as she handed me a bucket with two sponges and cleaner placed inside them. I imagined Eli being the person who peed on the walls and I chuckled at the thought.

"If you have any questions or concerns, just let me know. Thank you so much, Clare, you're a doll."

I smiled at her comment, even though she was making me do her dirty work. I made my way up to the third floor and went into the restroom, filling up the bucket with some water. As I made my way out, I saw Eli standing with a dark haired man with awful sideburns. He was talking with Eli and his hand gestures showed me that he was frustrated.

"If you had a problem with him, you should of said something, because you know that-"

"That violence is never the answer," Eli mocked.

"I obviously can't send you back in there," The teacher ran his fingers through his hair, irritated. He looked down the hallway and spotted me. I quickly turned my head the other way and started to scrub the walls, acting like I never saw anything.

"Excuse me, what's your name?" He yelled, walking towards me. He looked back at Eli and noticed him still standing there, so he grabbed his arm and dragged him along.

"Clare Edwards."

"Well, Clare. It looks like you have someone to help you clean those walls," He smiled broadly at Eli and gave him a slight push toward me.

Why is it that every time someone got annoyed with him, they just threw him at me? Like I'm supposed to deal with his bullshit. Eli nodded and reluctantly grabbed the extra sponge, dipping it into the bucket.

"I'll come check on you in twenty minutes," His voice grew stern and he stared at Eli for what seemed like forever until he turned on his heel and headed back to the classroom.

Eli waited for him to enter the classroom, then he threw the sponge down and walked over to the opposite wall, sliding down on it. He brought his knees up to his chest, resting his elbows on them. I looked back and rolled my eyes, continuing to clean the wall covered in urine.

"You know Edwards, this is a great view. If only your skirt was a little shorter.." His voice trailed off and I immediately turned around to face him, a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

"Such a gentlemen, Eli," I said sarcastically, trying to joke back. He remained silent, so I thought of something to ask, "What did you do?" I really did want to know and it must of not been _that _bad.

"Pushed some kid into a wall for mouthing off to me. It wasn't even a big deal, Mr. Bartley is just on my fucking nuts about everything," He looked up at me and smirked, "But, I'm not really complaining about my punishment."

"Yeah, it would be nice if you would actually help."

"Where's your little bitch at? Wont she get mad at us for talking?" He said bitterly through clenched teeth.

"She doesn't own me," I said defensively.

"Could've fooled me. Seems like she doesn't let you out of her sight."

"I guess she just doesn't want me around you," I turned back around and faced the wall, my scrubbing becoming harder.

Eli must of stood up silently because the next thing I know he's right behind me, his fingertips lightly touching my hips.

"What do _you_ think about that?" His breath was hot against my neck and my body become frozen. My grip on the sponge had become tighter and my knees started to buckle at the proximity of our bodies.

"I t-think that I should have nothing to do with the little feud that's going on between you two," My breathing turned into gasps when he tightened his hold around my waist, "Eli, stop," I whispered.

"What's wrong, Edwards? You're not afraid are you?" His voice was low and seductive and I knew what he was trying to do. I removed his hands from my waist and turned around, giving him a light push on the shoulder.

"You don't scare me."

"That's because you don't really know me," He returned to his spot on the wall and this time I decided to join him, sitting down right next to him.

"Even then, I still wouldn't be scared," I said, lying the whole time. He scares me so much that I worry about him sometimes.

"Then there's something you should know. The reason I'm in here is because-"

"I already know why you're in here," I cut him off but then I covered my mouth quickly.

A smirk appeared on his face, "So I'm really that popular? People are actually talking about me?" He said smugly. I could tell he was just being a sarcastic ass.

"Its cocaine, isn't it?"

"Not exactly."

My mouth dropped open and undiluted fear ripped through my stomach as I waited for him to continue.

"No one else knows this besides Adam, but the main reason why I'm in here is because I'm a heroin addict," He looked down at his hands which were shaking a little.

"You mean…"

"Yes. I shoot up," He sighed sadly then proceeded to roll up his sleeve, which showed the marks of where he injected the needle.

There were tons of them covering his arms and it made him look even more fragile than he already is. I touched over his arm delicately, fingering all the scars that took up his arm. He pulled away quickly, as if they still hurt from when he shot up.

"Why did Fiona tell me it was cocaine then?" I asked, a hint of concern in my voice.

"That's what I told everyone when they asked."

"Why lie though? Why not just tell them to mind their own business."

Eli chuckled at this and it was the first time I heard him actually laugh, rather than a sarcastic sneer.

"Good question, Edwards. I guess I just did it to get them off my back."

I smiled at him, "So you're going to stop?"

"Why do you think I'm in here?" He snapped.

I tried to choose my words carefully, not wanting to upset him any further. "That's good that you're trying to get help."

"Yeah, they're really trying to help," He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Making me take stupid fucking classes and detox which has made my life _hell_."

"That's the whole process of this, Eli. You just need to be patient, everything will be okay," I placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing soft circles with my thumbs.

He shrugged it off and stood up, looking down directly at me, "Fuck you, Clare."

"Excuse me?"

"You think you know everything and what I'm going through. How the fuck do you know it's supposed to get better from here? How do you know I'm not going to fucking relapse right when I get out of here?" His eyes we're filled with anguish and he spit on the floor, rubbing it in the carpet with his shoe.

"I-I'm sorry…I didn't realize…"

"Yeah you don't realize anything, Clare. You're stupid." He went over to the bucket and kicked it over, and I watched as the water spilled, making its way down the hall. He started to trudge his way to the door, but took a second look at me. "Thanks for cleaning up my mess, bitch."

Why did he do this to me? Did he come clean about his heroin addiction just so he could have a reason to get mad at me? I try and say the right things to him but he has a short temper and everything I say seems to make him mad. To my utter astonishment, tears overflowed from my eyes without warning, gushing down my face in a fresh torrent.

I heard foot steps coming in my direction and I quickly wiped my tears away.

"Clare? Are you okay?" Fiona's voice was low and delicate and she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I couldn't contain the low sob that broke in my voice. The senseless tears were disturbing, but I couldn't get control of the staggering grief that seemed to grip me, and Fiona noticed.

"Was it Eli?"

"How did you know?" I asked, sniffling, a new sob rising in my throat.

"Because I just ran into him. That's how I knew you were up here. What happened?" She pleaded, eyes wild with worry about the pain in my voice.

"I can't keep my mouth shut, that's what happened. Eli just had one of his infamous episodes and I'm done with it…I'm not sticking around anymore to wait for the next one."

"You like him, Clare…it's okay." She pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back softly, trying to soothe me.

"What! I-I don't like him…I just worry about him."

"Are you sure that's it?"

"Fiona I barely know him. Besides, if he's going to put me down like that, then forget him." I said more to myself than her.

She nodded, knowing I didn't want to talk about him anymore. "Come on, lets clean up this mess."

Fiona walked to the girls bathroom to get some paper towels and handed me some when she came back out. We both cleaned up the water and put the sponges back into the bucket. We headed down to the lobby and I handed Mrs. Shaffer the bucket with the supplies in it.

"That took you longer than I expected, did you have any trouble?" She asked, taking the bucket out of my hands.

"Just had a little spill, but Fiona stopped and helped me clean it up."

"That was nice of you, Miss Coyne." Mrs. Shaffer smiled brightly but her face faltered and her gaze landed on someone behind us.

I turned around and saw Eli walking in the front entrance with a body guard next to him. I assumed he was coming in from a cigarette break. I nudged Fiona and she nodded and started walking away, with me following her closely.

We were about to reach the stairs until I felt someone's hand wrap around my arm, pulling me back.

"Clare…can I talk to you?"

Fiona scoffed, grabbing my arm and yanking me from Eli's grasp. "Yeah right. Don't you have something better to do other than making Clare feel like shit? She's not interested."

"I think she can speak for herself," Eli stated, stepping closer to Fiona. I got in between them and both eyes landed on me.

"Eli, I don't think that's a good idea…"

"Please, Clare?"

"I can't."

Fiona smiled and linked my arm with hers, "I believe that means leave. So go on and continue to live your pathetic life."

Eli's eyes we're pleading and I could feel myself giving into him. I nodded slowly, "Fine. Just for a minute."

Fiona looked at me in disbelief, "Clare, what about what you said earlier?"

"I'm just going to hear him out, I'll come find you after."

Fiona rolled her eyes and walked away, brushing Eli's shoulders as she did.

"Okay, what do you want?" I demanded once Fiona was out of sight.

"Let's go to my room." He started walking to his room before I even had time to respond, but I followed him anyway.

We reached his room, which was a lot smaller than Fiona's. The bed and furniture were more reasonably proportioned. The walls were dark, paneled in teak and he had one poster hanging up that read 'Dead Hand' with a picture of the band, I'm assuming. I walked over to the window, looking out of it so it could distract me from looking at him.

"I'm sorry," he said, catching me off guard.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I said through my teeth, my tone suddenly angry.

"What are you talking about?"

"I feel like you push me to say things just so you can turn around and be mad at me again."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm so sorry, I guess its just my withdrawal kicking in."

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to forgive me."

"As long as it doesn't happen again, Eli."

He sighed in relief and I gave him a small smile. We were good again, at least for _now_.

* * *

**So, there it is. There's a specific reason as to why Eli is opening up to Clare so early and why he has random melt downs and you will see that later on in the story. So don't think I'm rushing their relationship, because that's the last thing I'm doing. Don't forget to review, I know you guys are awesome at that. Next chapter will be here soon, no worries.**

**Btw, detox is short for detoxification. This is a treatment for addiction to drugs or alcohol intended to remove the physiological effects of the addictive substances. And withdrawal is a side effect of separation from a drug or alcohol.**


End file.
